I always tell myself, one should always have an "Ah ha" moment sometime in every performance. You should get that excited, nervous (wet your pants) sort of feeling, right before you walk on stage.
Let me paint you a picture: On stage, the nerves take over, so you attempt at breathing deeply as the music begins to an incredibly difficult aria that you have been working on for quite some time. Your pianist is setting you up for success as they approach your entrance. As you sing, your heart opens for the audience to feel your every emotion. The audience applauds you in appreciation for the beautiful art you just painted across the auditorium. Walking backstage, you are praising your pianist as they are praising you for a wonderful performance. The nerves are gone, and all that is left is a feeling of excitement. It's just like riding a rollar coaster. You are fearful at the beginning, then you ride it and have so much fun. All you want to do is get in line to ride it again!
I hope that was a clear enough picture for you. That's what I'm talking about. If a singer doesn't experience that every single time they step out on that stage...something is wrong. Now I'm not saying that you have to be superhuman. I am human too. I know that everyone has their bad vocal nights, or their nerves get the best of them, or they are just going through a very rough time. I am saying, when those odds are not against you, those are the normal feelings you should be having when you are on stage. It is just not worth it if you don't.
Speaking of fabulous times on stage...this past weekend, I was in Phoenix, Arizona for a competition (my second in two weeks). This was my 6th year participating in the National Association of Teacher of Singing competition. Over the years, I have worked my way up the ladder of rankings, and last year I placed first in my division of sophomore college women. Much to my surprise, this year I placed first again, this time in the junior college women division. To say that I was completely shocked that I won, would be a huge understatement. My friend and collegue, Angeline, who happens to be a magnificent mezzo-soprano sang her butt off. I was absolutely convinced that she would be taking my title (of course, I wouldn't mind losing to her). But no, alas, it is I who witheld my title. The thing that I loved most about this weekend was the fact that I had three very important people in the audience supporting me. My parents made the two hour trip from Tucson, Arizona to come and see if I won. They didn't even know if I would be performing, and they still came to support their daughter. Now that is cool. And last but not least, Dr. Kristin Dauphinais, my lovely, supportive, wonderful teacher! I am so happy that I got to show her what I am made of. I was singing for them. They are the ones (and myself, of course) that I do this for. So, I am left with the feeling of ecstasy. The feeling of standing outside myself. What a fabulous place to be.
Now back to work, work, work. :)
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